Paragraph
I like to do several things when it comes to what people said as "free time". First of all, I like reading. Due to my passion since I was in Junior High School, especially in the second grade, I am starting to read a christian book. In the first place, it is just to fill my free time. But, as the time goes by, I become addict to read and up until now, I will still read at least 1 book in a month. Second, I also like cooking. Since I was 6, my mother had told me that a girl should go to the kitchen and cook! by that command, I usually help my mom everyday. Up until now, when I went back to my hometown, I still help my mom to cook for my family. It is really good I think for girls to have several skill like cooking. Last, I love cleaning. When I saw something dirty, I will eventually move my body and cleaned it up. Sanity is really important, because from the health environment, we will live happily also and it will make us healthy. In short, I like reading, cooking and cleaning since I was a little, because of that, it make me easier now when I have to stay away from my parents.
Hello,
BalasHapusyour article is very good.But there are still some mistakes,for example," as the time goes by, I become addict to read ",from my point of view,you can delet" the",and it should be "become addicted to",and you can change "serveral skill"to 'skills".
And I think you can use more complicated setence later.I'm looking forward your next paragraph. Thank you! And please comment my blog,thank you.
Hu Minghui
Mi amor, Vicky~
BalasHapusI really enjoyed reading yours because it is organized really well and flawless. It is elaborate well and easy to understand. My suggestion perhaps, you may correct this sentence "I will still read at least 1 book in a month", I think it should be without "will" since it is habitual.
Overall, you have done it well and I can't wait to catch you more next time.
Best hug,
Inanda M.
Hi Vicky
BalasHapusSuch a nice paragraph. it is well organised and easy to understand. you justify your idea with the reason in supporting sentence. in my opinion, it will be better to change "it is really good I think for girls" to "i think it is really good for girls". good job :)
Hi Vicky,i think your pargaraph is good. But, i want to add something. It will be better if you don't use comma before word "because". Thank you. Keep up the good work, vicky! :)
BalasHapusHello Vicky, Glad to see your paragraph, I think your article was structured well. I also can see the relation between your main topic, major, and minor sentences in your paragraph. I just wanna give a sugesstion and correction on your paragraph.
BalasHapusFor my suggestion, will be better if you underlined the main topic and the sub topic. so it will easily for readers to understand and analyzing your paragraph. for my correction is from word "christian book" must be capitalized, so it will be "Christian book". Also for this sentences "we will live happily also and it will make us healthy." better if you change it to become "we will live happily. Also, it will make us healthy.
Thank You ^_^
Dear Vicky,
BalasHapusI like your writing, it's simple and easy to understand. You do the writing in the good way, you put it in order and mention it one by one. Also, I can see clearly the major and minor sentences in here. I have a little suggestion for you, I think it's better for you to underline the main topics or the core topics that you want to highlight to make it more clear and eye catching. But overall, great job Vicky! Keep it up;)
with warmest regards,
Nur Intan K.
Thank you for all of your comment for me :)
BalasHapusI like to do several things when it comes to what people said as "free time". First of all, I like reading. Due to my passion since I was in Junior High School, especially in the second grade, I am starting to read a christian book. In the first place, it is just to fill my free time. But, as the time goes by, I become addict to read and up until now, I still read at least 1 book in a month. Second, I also like cooking. Since I was 6, my mother had told me that a girl should go to the kitchen and cook! by that command, I usually help my mom everyday. Up until now, when I went back to my hometown, I still help my mom to cook for my family. It is really good I think for girls to have several skill like cooking. Last, I love cleaning. When I saw something dirty, I will eventually move my body and cleaned it up. Sanity is really important, because from the health environment, we will live happily also and it will make us healthy. In short, I like reading, cooking and cleaning since I was a little, because of that, it make me easier now when I have to stay away from my parents.