My Essay Revision
First Paragraph
I like to do several things when it
comes to what people said as "free time". First of all, I like reading. Due to my passion since I was in
Junior High School, especially in the second grade, I am starting to read a Christian book. In the first place, it is
just to fill my free time. But, as the time goes by, I become addict to read
and up until now, I still read at least 1 book in a month. Second, I also like cooking. Since I was 6, my mother had told me
that a girl should go to the kitchen and cook! by that command, I usually help
my mom everyday. Up until now, when I went back to my hometown, I still help my
mom to cook for my family. It is really good I think for girls to have several
skill like cooking. Last, I love
cleaning. When I saw something dirty, I will eventually move my body and
cleaned it up. Sanity is really important, because from the health environment,
we will live happily also and it will make us healthy. In short, I like
reading, cooking and cleaning since I was a little, because of that, it make me
easier now when I have to stay away from my parents.
Outline:
Thesis Statement: I like to do several things when it comes to what people said as “Free
Time”.
1.
Reading (Supporting topic)
·
Christian book (major sentence) : John Piper, John
Stot, Stephen Tong, Luis Berkof
·
Manga (minor sentence) : One Piece, Kimi Ni Todoke, Conan
2.
Cooking (supporting topic)
·
Chinese Food (major
sentence) : Mi sua, Lou
mi, Noodle Soup
·
Indonesian food (minor sentence) : fried rice, fried noodle
3.
Cleaning (supporting topic)
·
The whole house (major sentence) : Mop, Sweep, Clean the window
·
Toilet (minor sentence) : Brush the floor, brush
the toilet
My Free Time
Every human surely be doing an activity in their everyday
life. Go to school, go to work, walking, cooking, do some sports, cleaning the
house are parts of doing an activity. But, no matter how busy we are, we still
have several spare time in a day to do the things that we like. For me, I like
to do several things when it comes to what people said as “Free Time”.
First
of all, no matter how busy I am in a day, I will surely spare my time eventough
it just a minute for reading. Maybe it sounds weird when you see someone
who read in a minute. However, just when it comes to read I can relax my mind
and it is really good to train the way you think. If you like to read a book,
there are many benefit that you can get. For instance, you can absorb the
lesson faster and understand it well. Meanwhile, reading also helps structuring
the mindset. There are so many types of book in our surrounding, such as;
novel, biography, magazine and so on. However, my favorite type of book is the Christian Book or Christian
Literature. For example, a book that written by John Stott, John
Piper, Stephen Tong, and Louis Berkof. Beside structuring my mindset,
reading Christian Literature also can make me more understand about my faith.
In the other hand, when I got tired while I am reading the Christian Literature,
I will read another reading source. “Manga” or comic is another reading source
that I like to read in my free time. However, not all type of comic is
my favorite. One piece, Conan, and Naruto
are several examples that I like to read when I have a free time. But
still, when I have finished read the manga
I will read a Christian Literature again. In short, besides build a mindset
structure, another benefit from reading also can sharpening the mindset.
Usually after I read the book, I will get hungry. When it
comes to this, I will go to my kitchen and find something to eat. However,
there is also a time when I could not find anything to eat in the kitchen. If
this matter happen, I usually cook by myself. By this means, I like cooking especially in my free time.
My mother always told me to go to the kitchen and cook. Due to our family favorite food is chinese food,
generally my mother told me how to cook the chinese food. Several
foods that my mother teach me to cook is Mi
sua, Lou mi, noodle soup, and
many other chinese food. In
the other hand, we still Indonesian and it absolutely make us also want to
learn about how to cook Indonesia’s
food. Several Indonesia food that I like to cook is Indonesia fried
rice and Indonesia fried noodle. Indonesia fried rice and noodle has a
different taste from the Chinese fried rice and fried noodle’s taste. I like
cooking in my free time, I usually cook Chinese or Indonesian food and I will
keep improving my cooking skill.
Cooking make the kitchen dirty. The oil that spread out
from the pan make the stove and all surround it become so dirty. Generally,
ants will eventually come when there is a dirt in one spot. By this case, I
will eventually take the cloth and mop the dirt up. Next activity that I like to do in my free time is
cleaning. When I see my environment clean, I can move freely and it make
me more enjoy when I have to stay at home. So, the first place that I will definitely clean is my
house. Every morning, I will take the broom and sweep the floor, but
not finish until that, I will also take the mop and mopping the floor. When
this activity finished, I will clean up the window once a week. However, this
is not the end of my cleaning activity. Cleaning need a commitment in order to
create a health environment. By
this statement, I will keep continue in cleaning my toilet. From
brush the floor and brush the toilet I do it myself in order to get the best
results. I know that my parents had worked so hard everyday, this make me
want to help them eventough just from cleaning the toilet. In conclussion,
cleaning can be said as the other part of my free time activity routine.
Many activities can be done in everyone own free time.
However, I like to choose a usefull activity in order to improve my skill even
in the free time. This kind of activities can improve both skill and knowledge.
By reading in a free time, it can
train us to be diciplined and structured the mindset. In the other hand, cooking especially for the woman can
create a lot of benefit. For instance if we are going to be an
entrepreneurship, skill like cooking can be the one of the requirement to be a
successfull entrepreneur. Last, cleaning
sounds weird and many people keep wondering about the function. We can not
depend on someone who work in our house forever. The time when we have to work
by our own hand is surely come and when that time come, how can we face it
while we do not have any experience?
Glad to see the great progress you've made, seems we all have learnt something to improve our writing from English class. Your paragraphs are clear as usual. And the description is also colorful. It is a nice job!
BalasHapus